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push! PUSH!...no!....pull?


i was sitting down in the toilet today, when i suddenly realised...
...i have no idea how to open my door without kinaesthetically doing it.

and of course, i can't just leave this entry with just that, now can i?
so let's talk about memories.
both short and long term memory helps us to progress extensively to live life on a daily basis.
remembering how to eat, remembering who to trust, remembering how to open the toilet door.

without it, we know not how to function.
or do we?
i mean, what about our instincts?
being the inherent disposition in ourselves towards particular behaviours, these fixed action patterns are imprinted in us when we first start to develop it in a sensitive period during one of our generations.

this is what i've been trying to figure out now, while watching Dollhouse.
i really don't like explaining what the show is about, but really, in the end, it's about humans who have signed a contract to be brainwashed and hiring them out to REALLYREALLYREALLY rich guys to be programmed into ANYTHING they want and having them believe they have been living these programmed lives for years.

The scientists and the whole corporation plays with character memories, but through instincts, the main character has been able to break out of these programs and unlock her prior memories of being another character.
OH MY GOODNESS THAT HURTS MY BRAIN.

so are we living off memories, or are we living off instincts?
if we weren't living off memories of names, games, functions etc and we lived off our instincts, would we be a happy living organism?

and what instincts do we have? when you fall in love with someone, is that instinct?

SO MANY QUESTIONS
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yeah, i'll blow

being a very responsible person who gets paranoid over being caught for doing naughty things,
i naturally 'code brown'-ed myself when my sister decided she'd drive the family home one night even though she had drunk a glass of mojito that night.

what if your intestinals hasn't rid of the alcohol concentration in your body yet?
what if you didn't even have ONE standard drink? maybe it was 3 instead!
what if there's a booze bus around the corner?
what if you get caught?
what if it goes on my record and i can never be a professional bed tester ever again because my happy sleepy face just looks like a retarded drunk girl who passed out in the middle of the store?!
o_o


-i casually ask my imaginary sister-that-wouldn't-call-me-a-douche in my brain

i did however, actually ask aloud what would happen if a boozebus was to catch us, and entertainingly enough, my dad instructed my sister to suck in when the policemen ask her to blow into the machine and pretend really hard that she'd been blowing-until the police gave up.


now of course, these words naturally linked to me questioning why giving fellatio was called a "blow job"- it would be hilarious if blow jobs were defined as raspberries on the male genitalia
ahhahah ahh~ oh how i imagine.

turns out, there are numerous amounts of ways that "fellatio" had evolved to become a "blow job"
some linguists think the sexual connotation of "blow job" evolved from the expression "blowoff," meaning to finish off, to climax-to end relating to the less sexual expression, to "blow off steam". When a prostitute gave a client a blow job she was helping him "blow off" the steam of sexual arousal. In the 1930s, street-walkers offered oral sex with the phrase "I'll blow you off." suggesting the act of cooling one down, or releasing ones steam.

so, yeah.
fun fact, F.U.C.K also has many variations on the origins of the 'word'.
Fornication Under Consent of the King; whereby English folk were only able to have sex under consent of the king,
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge; when prostitutes were charged for their 'services'
FUCK was also believed to have originated from a deciphered poem- nyaawww~ how romantic.
ahhahah

seriously considering a career as a linguist,
kerplouski.