-i think i'm in love with my mum.

i had the craziest talk with my mum today.
and she was still happy by the end of the conversation.
it was so weird.

it felt like i actually talked with my mum for the first time in 19 years, rather than zone out while she yells about everything i didn't do, which she's convinced that i have done, for 30 minutes straight.
and it wasn't just lovely subjects either.
cos she actually confessed that she knew i had been going out with my non-asian boyfriend before we even made it official with them. and that was like...1.5 years without telling them.
not to mention, i brought the dog to sleep in my bed that night, though it was a complete nono.
i'm still weirded out.

....still weirded out.
so we were talking about how the parentals were talking about how the kids are all grown up, we've all got our partners and moving out of our houses and all; and she was kinda irritated that the boyfriends would come over, which meant extra chores for some reason... though we dont' eat over or whatnot.
only my sister's boyfriend gets comfortable with the house, sleeps over, showers and whatnot.
whereas loverboy only stays for max an hour or so talking and ...werr...i blanked out on what he actually does when he comes over...cos we only just prepare for an outing..

and then it moved onto how, through her personal choice, she's disappointed that we dont' find chinese boys to become partners with, rather ( i, with my european lover) we partner with cultures which seem disconnected from her. i think she just really wants a family she can just comfortably talk chinese with; rather than struggle in english- understandable.

but yeah. i was still weirded out from her knowing about me and lovely for almost 3 years.
i'm even more weirded out with how nice she's been the last couple of weeks.

...i....i...i think i love my mom.

i think i'll buy her something real nice.


-still weirded out.


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